"The Politician"
or
"How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Duplicity"
August 17, 2015
Apprentice Tyler
Background
At times it may seem that Yours Truly does not acknowledge the difficult and time consuming work that befall my Apprentices. As a case in point, my “stack rat” Apprentice Tyler was snooping lurking researching at the Richie Cunningham Library on the Indiana State University campus and found what appears to be a previously unknown work by Niccolo Machiavelli. Over several days Apprentice Tyler removed the valuable manuscript. The work is written on several sheets measuring approximately 8 ½ inches by 11 inches on yellowed parchment of an unknown age. The language is a Medieval Northern Italianate dialect and based on my analysis of the uncial script, the origin of the manuscript is possibly from Northern Italy or southern Switzerland.
The following is my translation of “The Politician” into English.
Illuminated One,
“All truth is pertinent to all people.”
This is a false statement, as not all are prepared for the truth-”The truth will set you free..” , but not all people can accept the truth. In fact, most people reject the truth and find falsehood mixed with truths completely credulous. With this fact known and fully acknowledged, one must proceed as follows: Tell people what they want to hear.
I can foresee Your startled reaction, but I beg of You, to listen to the wisdom of my simple words. Forgive a brief digression, but a plain story regarding unsophisticated people will suffice. Image offering a peasant a pound of silver, gratis, as a gift, and imagine also that he is desirous, in the moment, in the now, of possessing a milk cow. As Your Majesty clearly understands from Your exalted position, the serf can dispose of the silver, purchase the milk cow and have several ounces of silver left to spend on whatever he pleases. Yet, my example does not want silver, but a cow and will not be happy with anything but a cow. From this example, Your Majesty can plainly see that the subject will only be content with that they want, and they will not be content with what is good or useful or beneficial.
One Recipient or an Audience of One
As a practical matter, telling people what they want to heart is surprisingly easy. Many times, the subject will actually tell You what they want You to say. One simply rephrases their statement or inquiry and repeats it in a firm manner. Do not think, Your Highness, that this technique is only usefull in person, for one can also use it in correspondence.
More than one Recipient
If Your Majesty will be addressing multiple people, You might reasonlly conclude that this teaching will not be feasible. Yet again, this method can work exceedingly well even for groups. I am certain that You are reasoning that even if this idea is beneficial or practical regarding individuals, but that it can not have any utility in groups or crowds, as it is impossible to know the wants of a multitude of people. This method can work, but You must be cautious to determine, by the wisdom of the years of Your experience, what the majority will want to hear. For example, a group of Dukes will be told different information than a gathering of Counts and different still from Gentleman. On the unfortunate occasions You address people from a variety of experiences, state what You think that the majority of the crowd wants to hear, not what is good or needful or beneficial. Truly, with this technique, You will be able to favorably influence people and win friends to Your cause.
Possible Foreseeable Objections
Primo
The most obvious objection is that the individual utilizing this method lacks morality, that is, they are amoral. This is easily refuted, as what one says or writes to one person and to another person is beyond mortality-it is neither good nor evil. No doubt Your Brightness will understand the wisdom of being beyond the accusation of good or bad.
Secundo
The second objection that is that those unfortunate times that a certain individual was in several audiences where You stated views that are diametrically opposed. This second objection to our technique supposes that the vast majority of individuals could remember what was said days or months before, which long experience has shown that they do not, nor do they remember what they have read, even if it was in a preceding paragraph or on the previous page. Therefore, Radiant One, the chances of one realizing You seem to hold opposite views at sundry times, as the situations dictate, would transpire, is so remote as not to be of legitimate concern to Your Luminosity.
The Written Word
Should Your Majesty write two opposite statements through Your long and prosperous career, future historians will assume that you have only changed your mind, that is, you have repented and they will never entertain the idea that You are duplicitous or that You were ambivalent towards the recipients of Your words of Glorious wisdom. By utilizing my proposed technique in speech and in writing, people will never be able to determine Your true thoughts and insights on any given issue. If wandering minstrels want to leave their audiences wanting more, then Your Luminescence should leave the reader of Your various writings perplexed as regarding Your true motivations.
Due to the fact that opposite statements will be found in your writings, both the liberals and conservatives will appreciate Your efforts and Your insights and Your courage to write the truth and claim You as a kindred spirit. Even if You explicitly deny certain aspects of Your person and Your personality, this denial will not prevent the masses to anoint You with flatteries and exalted titles for years to come, perhaps for all time. And Your fame will reach the heavens and be supported by the four corners of the world. And future generations will be unable to reach a consensus of your character and motivations--as always, people will see in You, not what You are or what You are not, but they will feel what they want to feel and believe what they want to believe. And no one will be able to dissuade them by the scarce commodity called reason.
They will attempt to determine the day You were born and the day You died. And they will fill the gaps of Your childhood and Your life with their fanciful speculations. And You will be the reason for revolutions proclaiming equality and freedom as their ever elusive goal. And many will cling to their vision of You, even unto death. And they will grant more importance to Your death than to what You did or what You accomplished in Your life. And Your death will be surrounded with mystical and fanciful meanings from their distorted views and these fantasies will never touch upon reality.
Therefore, Illustrious One, heed Your simple and humble servant’s advice and tell people what they want to hear and “be all things to all people”.
Commentary and Conclusion
From the general demeanor of this “advice”, we can see the evolution of Machiavelli's “insights” from “The Prince” to “The Manager” to “The Politician”. His writing clearly becomes more open and more appalling. Niccolo (Nick to his friends) wants the reader to be so duplicitous as to say what his audience wants to hear and his sham arguments defending the practices are so amoral as to be indefensible.
I, for one, am glad Apprentice Tyler has found this work by Machiavelli and, furthermore, I fervently hope that people will be aware of the tactics of those who are unscrupulous and utilize this “advice” to win “friends” and influence “people”.
At times it may seem that Yours Truly does not acknowledge the difficult and time consuming work that befall my Apprentices. As a case in point, my “stack rat” Apprentice Tyler was snooping lurking researching at the Richie Cunningham Library on the Indiana State University campus and found what appears to be a previously unknown work by Niccolo Machiavelli. Over several days Apprentice Tyler removed the valuable manuscript. The work is written on several sheets measuring approximately 8 ½ inches by 11 inches on yellowed parchment of an unknown age. The language is a Medieval Northern Italianate dialect and based on my analysis of the uncial script, the origin of the manuscript is possibly from Northern Italy or southern Switzerland.
The following is my translation of “The Politician” into English.
Illuminated One,
“All truth is pertinent to all people.”
This is a false statement, as not all are prepared for the truth-”The truth will set you free..” , but not all people can accept the truth. In fact, most people reject the truth and find falsehood mixed with truths completely credulous. With this fact known and fully acknowledged, one must proceed as follows: Tell people what they want to hear.
I can foresee Your startled reaction, but I beg of You, to listen to the wisdom of my simple words. Forgive a brief digression, but a plain story regarding unsophisticated people will suffice. Image offering a peasant a pound of silver, gratis, as a gift, and imagine also that he is desirous, in the moment, in the now, of possessing a milk cow. As Your Majesty clearly understands from Your exalted position, the serf can dispose of the silver, purchase the milk cow and have several ounces of silver left to spend on whatever he pleases. Yet, my example does not want silver, but a cow and will not be happy with anything but a cow. From this example, Your Majesty can plainly see that the subject will only be content with that they want, and they will not be content with what is good or useful or beneficial.
One Recipient or an Audience of One
As a practical matter, telling people what they want to heart is surprisingly easy. Many times, the subject will actually tell You what they want You to say. One simply rephrases their statement or inquiry and repeats it in a firm manner. Do not think, Your Highness, that this technique is only usefull in person, for one can also use it in correspondence.
More than one Recipient
If Your Majesty will be addressing multiple people, You might reasonlly conclude that this teaching will not be feasible. Yet again, this method can work exceedingly well even for groups. I am certain that You are reasoning that even if this idea is beneficial or practical regarding individuals, but that it can not have any utility in groups or crowds, as it is impossible to know the wants of a multitude of people. This method can work, but You must be cautious to determine, by the wisdom of the years of Your experience, what the majority will want to hear. For example, a group of Dukes will be told different information than a gathering of Counts and different still from Gentleman. On the unfortunate occasions You address people from a variety of experiences, state what You think that the majority of the crowd wants to hear, not what is good or needful or beneficial. Truly, with this technique, You will be able to favorably influence people and win friends to Your cause.
Possible Foreseeable Objections
Primo
The most obvious objection is that the individual utilizing this method lacks morality, that is, they are amoral. This is easily refuted, as what one says or writes to one person and to another person is beyond mortality-it is neither good nor evil. No doubt Your Brightness will understand the wisdom of being beyond the accusation of good or bad.
Secundo
The second objection that is that those unfortunate times that a certain individual was in several audiences where You stated views that are diametrically opposed. This second objection to our technique supposes that the vast majority of individuals could remember what was said days or months before, which long experience has shown that they do not, nor do they remember what they have read, even if it was in a preceding paragraph or on the previous page. Therefore, Radiant One, the chances of one realizing You seem to hold opposite views at sundry times, as the situations dictate, would transpire, is so remote as not to be of legitimate concern to Your Luminosity.
The Written Word
Should Your Majesty write two opposite statements through Your long and prosperous career, future historians will assume that you have only changed your mind, that is, you have repented and they will never entertain the idea that You are duplicitous or that You were ambivalent towards the recipients of Your words of Glorious wisdom. By utilizing my proposed technique in speech and in writing, people will never be able to determine Your true thoughts and insights on any given issue. If wandering minstrels want to leave their audiences wanting more, then Your Luminescence should leave the reader of Your various writings perplexed as regarding Your true motivations.
Due to the fact that opposite statements will be found in your writings, both the liberals and conservatives will appreciate Your efforts and Your insights and Your courage to write the truth and claim You as a kindred spirit. Even if You explicitly deny certain aspects of Your person and Your personality, this denial will not prevent the masses to anoint You with flatteries and exalted titles for years to come, perhaps for all time. And Your fame will reach the heavens and be supported by the four corners of the world. And future generations will be unable to reach a consensus of your character and motivations--as always, people will see in You, not what You are or what You are not, but they will feel what they want to feel and believe what they want to believe. And no one will be able to dissuade them by the scarce commodity called reason.
They will attempt to determine the day You were born and the day You died. And they will fill the gaps of Your childhood and Your life with their fanciful speculations. And You will be the reason for revolutions proclaiming equality and freedom as their ever elusive goal. And many will cling to their vision of You, even unto death. And they will grant more importance to Your death than to what You did or what You accomplished in Your life. And Your death will be surrounded with mystical and fanciful meanings from their distorted views and these fantasies will never touch upon reality.
Therefore, Illustrious One, heed Your simple and humble servant’s advice and tell people what they want to hear and “be all things to all people”.
Commentary and Conclusion
From the general demeanor of this “advice”, we can see the evolution of Machiavelli's “insights” from “The Prince” to “The Manager” to “The Politician”. His writing clearly becomes more open and more appalling. Niccolo (Nick to his friends) wants the reader to be so duplicitous as to say what his audience wants to hear and his sham arguments defending the practices are so amoral as to be indefensible.
I, for one, am glad Apprentice Tyler has found this work by Machiavelli and, furthermore, I fervently hope that people will be aware of the tactics of those who are unscrupulous and utilize this “advice” to win “friends” and influence “people”.