"Hey, I was wondering ..."
April 17, 2017
G.D.O'Bradovich III
Hey [!] I was wondering[:] why do I have two zodiac signs[?]
Apprentice Denver, personal correspondence,
Apprentice Denver, personal correspondence,
This message came “out of the blue”, without pleasantries and returned “into the black”. We suspected, of course, that Apprentice Denver’s inquiry alludes to our frequently utilized ambiguous appellation of “Cancer Gemini”.
Yours Truly’s response was swift and “sketchy”:
Yours Truly’s response was swift and “sketchy”:
"because you are more special than you realize."
Several minutes passed before sending a fuller explanation. This intentional delay was an attempt to maximize Apprentice Denver’s uneasiness due to the ambiguity of the response and the possibility of a misunderstanding of the response. We presume “creepy” is an aspect or species of “sketchy”. This presumption is not a certainty.
Once again, Apprentice Denver offers credible evidence that he either does not visit a certain website dedicated to research or does not perform adequate word searches on said website. We have no doubt that the Gentle Reader would discover multiple references to Cancer Geminis, Gemini Cancers, specific virtues, various qualities, and love and many subsequent explanations of these terms and their correct applications to humanity, generally, and to Apprentice Denver, specifically.
We suspect that Apprentice Denver, in his hubristic heart, harbors the idea that he is special, where the modern suggestion of applying “special” to all comers is deservingly dismissed. We may inadvertently contribute to Apprentice Denver's conceited opinions of himself, as we are eager, all too eager, to engage him, especially during those rare occasions when he makes legitimate inquiries. A casual observer, such as Apprentice Denver, may be forgiven if he mistakes Yours Truly’s eagerness to engage in conversation for either deference or submissiveness to the persona of Apprentice Denver.
The wording, “more special”, indicates our acknowledgment of Apprentice Denver's notable natural attributes, while the phrasing “than you realize” suggests that he correctly, although not fully, understands, on a basic level, that he is special, but not to the erudite extent, for example, of an experienced Great Occultist.
An Attempt To Date a Cancer Gemini remains the most viewed webpage, representing over half of all pageviews. While it is neither academic nor scholarly, it is my most personal literary work and the Gentle Reader can value it accordingly.
The research on this site is eclectic and the potential topics are nearly endless, although they can be grouped in specific genres. I enjoy discovering facts and reaching novel conclusions. Just as Philology is an endless source of wonder, so the Cancer Gemini is the source of endless pleasant surprises.
The existence of the Cancer Gemini may be understood as a validation of certain astrological claims or astrological deductions.
The always vigilant Twins verbally protecting the emotionally sensitive Crab (“The best defense is a good offense.”) whose mood necessarily changes every two hours. Although this endless display is improvised, it follows the style of theme and variation and, with practice, the Gentle Researcher will observe this performance and, with luck, experience it for a lifetime.
The moon visits and wanders through the signs every two hours, causing unseen, but felt, changes in the mood, attitude, outlook, and behavior of the Crab, forcing the capable Twins into reactionary positions to defend the sensitive Crab from all threats, both real and imaginary. Truly, the Cancer Gemini is more special than he realizes at present.
As we know from long and challenging experiences, the Crab must feel completely comfortable with an individual and without this trust, the relationship cannot grow and will remain superficial. In conclusion to this part, we may say that trust is a function of the number of encounters, not the intensity of the encounters. Cancer, like Capricorn, will provide more than enough rope for an individual to hang himself and although Capricorn is alone and must be self reliant when confronting betrayal, Cancer always has the Twins.
By nature, Capricorn is trustworthy and steadfast (Cardinal earth sign represented by a goat: Capricorn ain't goin’ anywhere or doin’ anything he doesn't want to.) and once Cancer feels these two facts are true, the relationship can grow and mature. If an individual believes that he has deceived or misled the Cancer Gemini, then he has only fooled himself. The Cancer will not begin to feel safe with an individual until the ever watchful and always critically minded Twins give their unanimous consent for Cancer to proceed.
As we wrote, ATTD a Cancer Gemini is our most personal work.
We have taken the liberty of writing “feel” in italics and rely on this unique feature in our writing to emphasize the importance of Cancer’s emotions that contribute to their overall well being.
Strauss, Bloom, and other commentators have noted that man is ambiguous and whenever this statement is encountered, no explanations or clarification is forthcoming. The statement is not advanced as an argument nor as evidence for a supposition, but presented as a well known fact, as a given, a priori. The wording, “man is ambiguous”, is directed exclusively to young men who like to think.
“Relationships” are to be correctly understood as an intentionally ambiguous term, allowing the Gentle Reader to mentally substitute the applicable word that is best suited to the context of his situation.
From Nature, we can reason and conclude that animals have one purpose or defined goal. We can state that purpose of animals is reproduction and their goal or end is death. Whereas animals have an end, man does not; he can be a philosopher, a gentleman, a mediocre, or a decadent. Canines beget canines and equines beget equines, however, thinkers can father civic minded sons, and civic minded individuals can father unexceptional sons. We conclude that man is both an ambiguous term and an ambiguous animal and to suggest or to believe otherwise represents limited experiences, poor reasoning, or a denial of reality. Of all animals, man alone has the ability, but not the obligation, to reason. Although man may have various ends, the highest end, the end implied by man's unique potential, is contemplation.
When confronted with the unpleasant reality that man is an ambiguous animal, certain individuals hold the strange opinion that man has one goal or certain destination. Since these certain individuals are not reasonable people, any attempts to apply reason when engaged in dialogue are in vain, but not without a type of subtle amusement, that is, irony. Since thoughtless individuals cannot entertain the thought that various men could, or should, have different goals or destinies, these individuals have declared that man has only one purpose and, unsurprisingly, this goal is not to be found in this world nor can the purpose be suggested from the evidence and appropriate conclusions drawn from this world.
We are amused by this claim of declaring a sole purpose for man; for to deny, from the supposed advantage of the next world, that man has several goals or ends can only be the result of a supernatural revelation. As always, supernatural revelations are beyond Nature, and beyond man’s ability to reason. As we Great Occultists are not favored to receive supernatural insights, we cannot neither know what is beyond either our senses nor honestly declare we have revelations or insights or knowledge that we do not possess.
Therefore, we, as men, remain ambiguous; and we, as reasonable researchers, remain ignorant; and we, as Great Occultists, remain truthful.
The ram, the bull, the crab, the lion, the scorpion, and fish are found in Nature and are unambiguous. The scales are not natural and, provided they do not weigh man made creations, such as justice, but material elements, are unambiguous. Therefore, we are certain of the nature of seven astrological signs.
The water carrier, the Twins, the virgin, the satyr, being human, or possessing the mind of man, are ambiguous. Therefore, four astrological signs are ambiguous. Interestingly, by doubling the number of human depictions in the Virgin, some clarification is achieved, for certain stories of a Virgin with one child have reached our time.
Finally, the sea goat is ambiguous, as this depiction, along with the satyr, is of a mythological character. We, being Masters of the Obvious, state that Capricorn is “ultra” ambiguous due to the strange pairing and combination of the upper body of a goat and lower body of a fish. While the stories of satyrs are ones of action, intrigue, and adventure, the mythology of Capricorn is mundane, uninspiring, and vapid. The Gentle Reader will reach his own conclusions regarding the various merits relating to “fun” and excitement both for Sagittarius and for Capricorn. The image of the sea goat is a wonderful example of the astrological tendencies of Capricorn represented in an image. Pneumatic truth in psychic form. We may say that certain astrological facts are hidden from the masses in a form that is widely distributed and accessible to all, otherwise said, the truth is available to all and, for the ironical amusement of the gods, is hidden in plain sight. As the Master said, those with ears will hear.
Beaky, that wise counselor of old, has various openings for “being admired by youths who like to think and receiving accolades from men”. Ironically, it is a poor career, but a rewarding vocation.
During Yours Truly’s tenure in management, “A great manager once said…" was a frequent refrain. This type of motivation was the result of realizing that people will accept anything, provided the speaker appeals to an authority that is not his own.
Yours Truly, not wishing to waste time, invariably would say to the high school staff: “Your parents have lied to you, your friends have lied to you, but I will not lie to you. I may say that something is not your concern, but I won't lie.” Needless to say, immediate credibility can be the result of Capricorn candor.
“You will never disappoint me.” is our final aphorism. Since we have established we will not deceive, an assumption is that we profess and adhere to the modern opinion that we should love others, without regard for their behavior or virtues. This assumption is incorrect as we cannot love either unconditionally, that is, without reasons; we only love the highest virtues, and we only admire the highest qualities.
The high schoolers cannot disappoint me, for unlike their friends and enemies, I have no expectations for their lives. In the absence of expectations, disappointment is impossible. I only expect them to be themselves.
Being men, the high schoolers are ambiguous, yet, they are a type of Rorschach test. If we can borrow a term from Fred, then we may say that they are “life affirming”.
Whereas potential Apprentice Snowball has certain opinions on the personal interactions of the ancient Greek males based, no doubt, not on the source materials, but on commentaries, we can only state that Plato’s works consistently condemn any behavior this is not embraced by the city. All behaviour that is detrimental to the city’s existence is justly condemned. In this example, Plato unambiguously describes these actions both as “unmanly” and as “effeminate”.
The high schoolers are life affirming, firstly, they are at that unique point where they, by not living with an authority figure, will be relatively free. Secondly, the world is their oyster and they have the will, if not the birthright, to extract the hidden pearl.
From our experience, generally speaking, it seems that the zest or zeal for life diminishes by the late twenties through the early thirties. By this time, the ship of hopes has either run aground the shore of Unrelenting Reality or sunk in the Sea of Idealism.
April 18, 2017 was a fortunate day, as I had two small groups of high schoolers in quick succession and both, surprisingly, resulted in enjoyable and thought provoking conversations touching various topics.
Once again, Apprentice Denver offers credible evidence that he either does not visit a certain website dedicated to research or does not perform adequate word searches on said website. We have no doubt that the Gentle Reader would discover multiple references to Cancer Geminis, Gemini Cancers, specific virtues, various qualities, and love and many subsequent explanations of these terms and their correct applications to humanity, generally, and to Apprentice Denver, specifically.
We suspect that Apprentice Denver, in his hubristic heart, harbors the idea that he is special, where the modern suggestion of applying “special” to all comers is deservingly dismissed. We may inadvertently contribute to Apprentice Denver's conceited opinions of himself, as we are eager, all too eager, to engage him, especially during those rare occasions when he makes legitimate inquiries. A casual observer, such as Apprentice Denver, may be forgiven if he mistakes Yours Truly’s eagerness to engage in conversation for either deference or submissiveness to the persona of Apprentice Denver.
The wording, “more special”, indicates our acknowledgment of Apprentice Denver's notable natural attributes, while the phrasing “than you realize” suggests that he correctly, although not fully, understands, on a basic level, that he is special, but not to the erudite extent, for example, of an experienced Great Occultist.
An Attempt To Date a Cancer Gemini remains the most viewed webpage, representing over half of all pageviews. While it is neither academic nor scholarly, it is my most personal literary work and the Gentle Reader can value it accordingly.
The research on this site is eclectic and the potential topics are nearly endless, although they can be grouped in specific genres. I enjoy discovering facts and reaching novel conclusions. Just as Philology is an endless source of wonder, so the Cancer Gemini is the source of endless pleasant surprises.
The existence of the Cancer Gemini may be understood as a validation of certain astrological claims or astrological deductions.
The always vigilant Twins verbally protecting the emotionally sensitive Crab (“The best defense is a good offense.”) whose mood necessarily changes every two hours. Although this endless display is improvised, it follows the style of theme and variation and, with practice, the Gentle Researcher will observe this performance and, with luck, experience it for a lifetime.
The moon visits and wanders through the signs every two hours, causing unseen, but felt, changes in the mood, attitude, outlook, and behavior of the Crab, forcing the capable Twins into reactionary positions to defend the sensitive Crab from all threats, both real and imaginary. Truly, the Cancer Gemini is more special than he realizes at present.
As we know from long and challenging experiences, the Crab must feel completely comfortable with an individual and without this trust, the relationship cannot grow and will remain superficial. In conclusion to this part, we may say that trust is a function of the number of encounters, not the intensity of the encounters. Cancer, like Capricorn, will provide more than enough rope for an individual to hang himself and although Capricorn is alone and must be self reliant when confronting betrayal, Cancer always has the Twins.
By nature, Capricorn is trustworthy and steadfast (Cardinal earth sign represented by a goat: Capricorn ain't goin’ anywhere or doin’ anything he doesn't want to.) and once Cancer feels these two facts are true, the relationship can grow and mature. If an individual believes that he has deceived or misled the Cancer Gemini, then he has only fooled himself. The Cancer will not begin to feel safe with an individual until the ever watchful and always critically minded Twins give their unanimous consent for Cancer to proceed.
As we wrote, ATTD a Cancer Gemini is our most personal work.
We have taken the liberty of writing “feel” in italics and rely on this unique feature in our writing to emphasize the importance of Cancer’s emotions that contribute to their overall well being.
Strauss, Bloom, and other commentators have noted that man is ambiguous and whenever this statement is encountered, no explanations or clarification is forthcoming. The statement is not advanced as an argument nor as evidence for a supposition, but presented as a well known fact, as a given, a priori. The wording, “man is ambiguous”, is directed exclusively to young men who like to think.
“Relationships” are to be correctly understood as an intentionally ambiguous term, allowing the Gentle Reader to mentally substitute the applicable word that is best suited to the context of his situation.
From Nature, we can reason and conclude that animals have one purpose or defined goal. We can state that purpose of animals is reproduction and their goal or end is death. Whereas animals have an end, man does not; he can be a philosopher, a gentleman, a mediocre, or a decadent. Canines beget canines and equines beget equines, however, thinkers can father civic minded sons, and civic minded individuals can father unexceptional sons. We conclude that man is both an ambiguous term and an ambiguous animal and to suggest or to believe otherwise represents limited experiences, poor reasoning, or a denial of reality. Of all animals, man alone has the ability, but not the obligation, to reason. Although man may have various ends, the highest end, the end implied by man's unique potential, is contemplation.
When confronted with the unpleasant reality that man is an ambiguous animal, certain individuals hold the strange opinion that man has one goal or certain destination. Since these certain individuals are not reasonable people, any attempts to apply reason when engaged in dialogue are in vain, but not without a type of subtle amusement, that is, irony. Since thoughtless individuals cannot entertain the thought that various men could, or should, have different goals or destinies, these individuals have declared that man has only one purpose and, unsurprisingly, this goal is not to be found in this world nor can the purpose be suggested from the evidence and appropriate conclusions drawn from this world.
We are amused by this claim of declaring a sole purpose for man; for to deny, from the supposed advantage of the next world, that man has several goals or ends can only be the result of a supernatural revelation. As always, supernatural revelations are beyond Nature, and beyond man’s ability to reason. As we Great Occultists are not favored to receive supernatural insights, we cannot neither know what is beyond either our senses nor honestly declare we have revelations or insights or knowledge that we do not possess.
Therefore, we, as men, remain ambiguous; and we, as reasonable researchers, remain ignorant; and we, as Great Occultists, remain truthful.
The ram, the bull, the crab, the lion, the scorpion, and fish are found in Nature and are unambiguous. The scales are not natural and, provided they do not weigh man made creations, such as justice, but material elements, are unambiguous. Therefore, we are certain of the nature of seven astrological signs.
The water carrier, the Twins, the virgin, the satyr, being human, or possessing the mind of man, are ambiguous. Therefore, four astrological signs are ambiguous. Interestingly, by doubling the number of human depictions in the Virgin, some clarification is achieved, for certain stories of a Virgin with one child have reached our time.
Finally, the sea goat is ambiguous, as this depiction, along with the satyr, is of a mythological character. We, being Masters of the Obvious, state that Capricorn is “ultra” ambiguous due to the strange pairing and combination of the upper body of a goat and lower body of a fish. While the stories of satyrs are ones of action, intrigue, and adventure, the mythology of Capricorn is mundane, uninspiring, and vapid. The Gentle Reader will reach his own conclusions regarding the various merits relating to “fun” and excitement both for Sagittarius and for Capricorn. The image of the sea goat is a wonderful example of the astrological tendencies of Capricorn represented in an image. Pneumatic truth in psychic form. We may say that certain astrological facts are hidden from the masses in a form that is widely distributed and accessible to all, otherwise said, the truth is available to all and, for the ironical amusement of the gods, is hidden in plain sight. As the Master said, those with ears will hear.
Beaky, that wise counselor of old, has various openings for “being admired by youths who like to think and receiving accolades from men”. Ironically, it is a poor career, but a rewarding vocation.
During Yours Truly’s tenure in management, “A great manager once said…" was a frequent refrain. This type of motivation was the result of realizing that people will accept anything, provided the speaker appeals to an authority that is not his own.
Yours Truly, not wishing to waste time, invariably would say to the high school staff: “Your parents have lied to you, your friends have lied to you, but I will not lie to you. I may say that something is not your concern, but I won't lie.” Needless to say, immediate credibility can be the result of Capricorn candor.
“You will never disappoint me.” is our final aphorism. Since we have established we will not deceive, an assumption is that we profess and adhere to the modern opinion that we should love others, without regard for their behavior or virtues. This assumption is incorrect as we cannot love either unconditionally, that is, without reasons; we only love the highest virtues, and we only admire the highest qualities.
The high schoolers cannot disappoint me, for unlike their friends and enemies, I have no expectations for their lives. In the absence of expectations, disappointment is impossible. I only expect them to be themselves.
Being men, the high schoolers are ambiguous, yet, they are a type of Rorschach test. If we can borrow a term from Fred, then we may say that they are “life affirming”.
Whereas potential Apprentice Snowball has certain opinions on the personal interactions of the ancient Greek males based, no doubt, not on the source materials, but on commentaries, we can only state that Plato’s works consistently condemn any behavior this is not embraced by the city. All behaviour that is detrimental to the city’s existence is justly condemned. In this example, Plato unambiguously describes these actions both as “unmanly” and as “effeminate”.
The high schoolers are life affirming, firstly, they are at that unique point where they, by not living with an authority figure, will be relatively free. Secondly, the world is their oyster and they have the will, if not the birthright, to extract the hidden pearl.
From our experience, generally speaking, it seems that the zest or zeal for life diminishes by the late twenties through the early thirties. By this time, the ship of hopes has either run aground the shore of Unrelenting Reality or sunk in the Sea of Idealism.
April 18, 2017 was a fortunate day, as I had two small groups of high schoolers in quick succession and both, surprisingly, resulted in enjoyable and thought provoking conversations touching various topics.
group the first
Assistant to Apprentice Denver Joe
potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord
Are Jay (perhaps best known for his initial appearance in our essay CapriPorn.)
potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord
Are Jay (perhaps best known for his initial appearance in our essay CapriPorn.)
Assistant to Apprentice Denver Joe is renowned for his monologue, now in its nineteenth year.
We all have heard anecdotal stories about how one person, somewhere, did something so egregious, so offensive, that a rule was created forbidding such behavior. Future Apprentices need look no further than potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord for the reason potential Apprentices cannot choose their name. In conclusion to this part, we do not need a Tarot deck to inform us of the problems and ensuing issues following the first time we address “potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord” in the presence of the Apprentices.
Potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord and Yours Truly were conversing, when he said, sotto voce, to the effect that he was intentionally withholding his admiration from Yours Truly. Initially, Yours Truly’s reaction was one of confusion, then the sudden realization that potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord had been on a certain website and read a certain insightful commentary regarding Socrates’ motivation for conversing with youths. At the moment of realizing the implications, Yours Truly blatantly and forcefully told Assistant to Apprentice Denver Joe to be quite. Regretfully, this behavior was wholly inappropriate, although understandable, yet, strangely enjoyable.
The secondary implication of potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord’s disclosure of refusing acknowledgment was that he does, in fact, have admiration, for to withhold what one does not posses violates reason. We presume that potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord is withholding approval regarding Yours Truly’ superior mind, or amazing intellect, or brilliant writing, possibly all three. As always, the presumption is not a certainty. Although we admit the possibility that potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord was being insincere, we remain hopeful, not necessarily of an Apprenticeship, but of his coming into being.
We all have heard anecdotal stories about how one person, somewhere, did something so egregious, so offensive, that a rule was created forbidding such behavior. Future Apprentices need look no further than potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord for the reason potential Apprentices cannot choose their name. In conclusion to this part, we do not need a Tarot deck to inform us of the problems and ensuing issues following the first time we address “potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord” in the presence of the Apprentices.
Potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord and Yours Truly were conversing, when he said, sotto voce, to the effect that he was intentionally withholding his admiration from Yours Truly. Initially, Yours Truly’s reaction was one of confusion, then the sudden realization that potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord had been on a certain website and read a certain insightful commentary regarding Socrates’ motivation for conversing with youths. At the moment of realizing the implications, Yours Truly blatantly and forcefully told Assistant to Apprentice Denver Joe to be quite. Regretfully, this behavior was wholly inappropriate, although understandable, yet, strangely enjoyable.
The secondary implication of potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord’s disclosure of refusing acknowledgment was that he does, in fact, have admiration, for to withhold what one does not posses violates reason. We presume that potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord is withholding approval regarding Yours Truly’ superior mind, or amazing intellect, or brilliant writing, possibly all three. As always, the presumption is not a certainty. Although we admit the possibility that potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord was being insincere, we remain hopeful, not necessarily of an Apprenticeship, but of his coming into being.
group the second
potential Apprentice Jonathan
potential Assistant to Apprentice Jonathan Levi
potential Assistant to Apprentice Jonathan Levi
Full disclosure: neither potential Apprentice Jonathan nor potential Assistant to Apprentice Jonathan Levi have expressed any interest in studying under a Master of the Occult Arts and Sciences. Of course, as we have demonstrated our power to create Apprentices from four dissenting Supreme Court Justices [Vide] and the posthumous creation of Associate Assistant to Apprentice Denver Joe Isaac (Newton) [Vide], the suggestion of elevating two acquaintances to Apprentices would be no great feat.
We may say that we regret not being more familiar with the high schoolers as individuals, generally, and potential Apprentice Jonathan, specifically.
Over the previous two years, Potential Apprentice Jonathan has repeatedly demonstrated the ability to engage Yours Truly without the group safety that the high schoolers represent. This “ability” is not shared by all the high schoolers. The second rate psychologist, a frequent contributor to our work, might suggest that potential Apprentice Jonathan is more independent than his peers and is willing, unlike his cohort, to forgo certain social conventions to satisfy his curiosity. This willingness to experience independence may indicate the potential for a leadership position.
We are uncertain if these conclusions are valid, however, through long experience, we know that the actions of the body always betray the thoughts of the mind. The Gentle Researcher may reach an informed conclusion by comparing the requirement of joining a certain fraternal organization formed three hundred years ago that does not solicit specific members and potential Apprentice Jonathan’s behavior vis a vis Yours Truly.
As always the Gentle Reader will reach his own informed conclusions regarding the special nature of Cancer Geminis, man’s ambiguity, Capricorn credibility, Beaky as career counselor, the joy of Occult discoveries, Freemasonry’s ambiguity, and the benefit of elevating Jonathan to Apprentice.
The Gentle Researcher will reach his own conclusion regarding which scenario is more likely: a snowball enduring the fires of Hell or Yours Truly uttering the words: “potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord”.
We may say that we regret not being more familiar with the high schoolers as individuals, generally, and potential Apprentice Jonathan, specifically.
Over the previous two years, Potential Apprentice Jonathan has repeatedly demonstrated the ability to engage Yours Truly without the group safety that the high schoolers represent. This “ability” is not shared by all the high schoolers. The second rate psychologist, a frequent contributor to our work, might suggest that potential Apprentice Jonathan is more independent than his peers and is willing, unlike his cohort, to forgo certain social conventions to satisfy his curiosity. This willingness to experience independence may indicate the potential for a leadership position.
We are uncertain if these conclusions are valid, however, through long experience, we know that the actions of the body always betray the thoughts of the mind. The Gentle Researcher may reach an informed conclusion by comparing the requirement of joining a certain fraternal organization formed three hundred years ago that does not solicit specific members and potential Apprentice Jonathan’s behavior vis a vis Yours Truly.
As always the Gentle Reader will reach his own informed conclusions regarding the special nature of Cancer Geminis, man’s ambiguity, Capricorn credibility, Beaky as career counselor, the joy of Occult discoveries, Freemasonry’s ambiguity, and the benefit of elevating Jonathan to Apprentice.
The Gentle Researcher will reach his own conclusion regarding which scenario is more likely: a snowball enduring the fires of Hell or Yours Truly uttering the words: “potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord”.
By the plenitude of power ... et cetera … potential Apprentice Supreme Overlord ... et cetera … be recognized as Apprentice Colton … et cetera ...
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By the plenitude of power authorized and granted by the Ancient and Esteemed Order of Hierophants, it is duly proclaimed, declared, and exclaimed that potential Apprentice Jonathan is hereby elevated to the exalted and sublime position of Apprentice and shall henceforth be recognized as Apprentice Jonathan to a Master of the Occult Arts and Sciences.
All rights, privileges, and benefits associated with said position, current and future, are hereby solemnly bestowed and conferred upon Apprentice Jonathan this nineteenth day of April in the year of our Lord and Master two thousand seventeen. So mote it be. G.D.O’Bradovich III |