Concluding Thoughts
May 3, 2017
G.D.O’Bradovich III
1
Background
We were conflicted when debated if we should write a final piece. We took the advice both of “Always explain” (friends don't need it) and of “Never, explain” (those without opinions may be swayed) and eventually decided that we would write, but not place it ahead of “I Will Be Like The Most High” on the CV, so as to not detract from it nor begin another series of ten. Therefore, if one makes a reasonable research effort then one can find this essay, that is, if the Gentle Reader wants an explanation, it will exist, and if not, he won't likely stumble upon it, as the title is explicit, and he can ignore it if he does.
Thoughts
Leo Strauss suggests that persecution leads to the creation and usage of a certain type of writing and I agree. If we are enamored with esoteric writing, then it is due entirely to our sentiment of caution. We remain uncertain of the reason for our caution: Capricorn, scapegoat, or philologist. However, our caution is not because we will attempt to convey terrible truths or corrupt the youth by denying the gods. We have learned many lessons from long and painful experiences, and all of these lessons are associated with trust and betrayal; my trust in combination with other’s betrayal.
We thoroughly enjoy our role as commentator and critic, due almost entirely to the freedom to state our personal views without consequences; the immunity of the commentator. Our attempt at writing fiction did not avail itself of the sought for “immunity of the fiction writer”, that is, someone made the appropriate connection between the work and my thoughts, although we seriously suggest it was only a fortunate guess, not due to any ability or insight on his part.
Over the years, we have been confronted with difficulties, but our current situation has devolved into desperation. Homeless since November first, and about three weeks ago, on a Thursday, the car was presumably towed from the spot it has been in since January first. As a Libra, no shaving or showering since February 20 only compounds the financial and social issues.
Everything is gone except for the proverbial and literal “clothes on my jack” and the original notebook that, I believe, Denver has. Years ago, I promised Brock the incense burner from my grandmother, the equivalent of an heirloom passed through four generations of Capricorns.
If dependency upon others is an indication of desperation, then we have arrived at our desired destination. We suggest that we would have fewer misgivings if our dependency were upon almost any group other than the high schoolers. Not only is this a reversal of the natural order, I believe that they, as a whole, do not recognize any virtues in Yours Truly, only a certain ability or the art of buying that is not derived from talent, wit, or genius. Therefore, any acceptance of assistance from them that is not an exchange of values is troublesome.
Brayden and Denver have been exceedingly helpful, due to the fact that I see them the most, or I engage them more often, or they are Cancer Geminis. I don't want the impression given that the others have not been generous, they have been. However, I feel that I should single out RJ for the jacket, as the weather has been unseasonably cold for April and May.
Although I am aware of my surroundings and self aware of my thoughts and actions, I lack the timely ability to realize how people view me or exactly what opinions they profess. Our second rate psychologist would suggest that, ultimately, I am indifferent to their opinions. Needless to say, as I now that I feel that I am caricature of a parody, then I must admit that others have seen me in this role for much longer; how much longer, I can't say.
We thoroughly enjoy our role as commentator and critic, due almost entirely to the freedom to state our personal views without consequences; the immunity of the commentator. Our attempt at writing fiction did not avail itself of the sought for “immunity of the fiction writer”, that is, someone made the appropriate connection between the work and my thoughts, although we seriously suggest it was only a fortunate guess, not due to any ability or insight on his part.
Over the years, we have been confronted with difficulties, but our current situation has devolved into desperation. Homeless since November first, and about three weeks ago, on a Thursday, the car was presumably towed from the spot it has been in since January first. As a Libra, no shaving or showering since February 20 only compounds the financial and social issues.
Everything is gone except for the proverbial and literal “clothes on my jack” and the original notebook that, I believe, Denver has. Years ago, I promised Brock the incense burner from my grandmother, the equivalent of an heirloom passed through four generations of Capricorns.
If dependency upon others is an indication of desperation, then we have arrived at our desired destination. We suggest that we would have fewer misgivings if our dependency were upon almost any group other than the high schoolers. Not only is this a reversal of the natural order, I believe that they, as a whole, do not recognize any virtues in Yours Truly, only a certain ability or the art of buying that is not derived from talent, wit, or genius. Therefore, any acceptance of assistance from them that is not an exchange of values is troublesome.
Brayden and Denver have been exceedingly helpful, due to the fact that I see them the most, or I engage them more often, or they are Cancer Geminis. I don't want the impression given that the others have not been generous, they have been. However, I feel that I should single out RJ for the jacket, as the weather has been unseasonably cold for April and May.
Although I am aware of my surroundings and self aware of my thoughts and actions, I lack the timely ability to realize how people view me or exactly what opinions they profess. Our second rate psychologist would suggest that, ultimately, I am indifferent to their opinions. Needless to say, as I now that I feel that I am caricature of a parody, then I must admit that others have seen me in this role for much longer; how much longer, I can't say.
You either die a Great Occultist,
or you live long enough to see yourself become a spectacle to angels and men.
or you live long enough to see yourself become a spectacle to angels and men.
Although I have repeatedly described them as high schoolers, I forget they are… well ... in fact… in high school. For some reason, the people I like are moved closer to my age, and the high schoolers are no exception. Perhaps I have made the issue more difficult by the habit of stating my age, minus 20 years. Recently, I realized Thomas is not yet 30, yet he was of a great help from 2007-8, when he was in high school. Therefore, I feel bad that I have treated them as adults when I shouldn't, I should have known better, being the source of responsibilities they didn't request. Denver is the one that I feel the worst about, because I did it without realizing the effects- applying pressure and inducing stress in a Cancer- is something that I avoid as I know better than most. This unawareness is not a intended as a contradiction to a previous statement, as I am normally aware, and desperate times are not normal, so I may not be acting like me.
I can't say I feel regret by getting by (surviving), since November 1st, as I don't, since I am amoral- the end justifies the means- the importance of my work means that any efforts are justified; I needed more time to reflect and to write, and I have written much; as I told Joe, “I will be like the Most High” is in my top twenty favorite papers. I have done more than I1 thought possible.
In my youth, I did not understand allusions and euphemisms, recall Dagny and Hank and their disdain for such talk, I would prefer explicit statements. However, as an adult, I enjoy allusions and vague references. Why the change? Experience separates me from them, just as much as my intelligence naturally separates me from them. And the combination of experience, long and painful, and intelligence means that only a select few will understand me. Narcissistic or borderline personality disorder? Let the discussion begin.
I can't say I feel regret by getting by (surviving), since November 1st, as I don't, since I am amoral- the end justifies the means- the importance of my work means that any efforts are justified; I needed more time to reflect and to write, and I have written much; as I told Joe, “I will be like the Most High” is in my top twenty favorite papers. I have done more than I1 thought possible.
In my youth, I did not understand allusions and euphemisms, recall Dagny and Hank and their disdain for such talk, I would prefer explicit statements. However, as an adult, I enjoy allusions and vague references. Why the change? Experience separates me from them, just as much as my intelligence naturally separates me from them. And the combination of experience, long and painful, and intelligence means that only a select few will understand me. Narcissistic or borderline personality disorder? Let the discussion begin.
The portrait you see is no picture of me.
New Order
New Order
Some years ago we noticed our decline regarding our mental faculties. We acknowledged it and accepted it, as we could spare 20 IQ points and still function: pragmatic, all too, pragmatic. However, in November, while eating pasta, an entire molar came loose. The first tooth since childhood. The physical decline has been a source for concern and worrisome. I am cold all the time, even when in the 60s outside and inside the library, and the physical pain, more discomfort than pain, although currently bearable, is ever present and can only worsen-as nothing ever gets better.
As Fred wrote, people would rather will nothing, than not will at all. We remain uncertain regarding the validity of this statement. The declines in our socio-economic, mental, and physical statuses over several decades do not indicate a possibility or likelihood of reversal, so we must conclude that the final two items will continue to degrade, while it is inconceivable that the first item can fall much further.
Reason, man’s quintessential quality, can not assist us in determining the end, only Nature can indicate the proper end for man, and even then, only indirectly. Therefore, all paths taken and choices made by an individual are, by default, reasonable. Once again, reason can not assist with a moral classification, good or evil, nor can it know what is beyond good and evil.
As Fred wrote, people would rather will nothing, than not will at all. We remain uncertain regarding the validity of this statement. The declines in our socio-economic, mental, and physical statuses over several decades do not indicate a possibility or likelihood of reversal, so we must conclude that the final two items will continue to degrade, while it is inconceivable that the first item can fall much further.
Reason, man’s quintessential quality, can not assist us in determining the end, only Nature can indicate the proper end for man, and even then, only indirectly. Therefore, all paths taken and choices made by an individual are, by default, reasonable. Once again, reason can not assist with a moral classification, good or evil, nor can it know what is beyond good and evil.
I've said too much, I haven't said enough.
R.E.M.
R.E.M.